This blog definitely would not be complete without mentioning the two biggest blessings of my life. The two that played a huge part in bringing me into this life, MY PARENTS(:
Father Dearest. Peleti Butch Jr II, so much to say about this man but not enough typing energy. lol. My dad is probably the most hilarious old man you'll ever meet. Whenever me and Jayme are laughing with him, he thinks its cause of his "jokes" but its just at him. lol. Him being his natural self cracks us up! My dad is constantly doing terrible impressions of comedies hes seen, but we let him think that their really good! Shhh! Dont tell him I told you that! hehe. Hes always joking around and making fun of everyone (everyone thinks thats where I get my personality from) and when hes not doing that hes almost ALWAYS talking about football. Oh my gosh, please do not ever get him started on that subject, especially when your in a rush! You'll end up sitting there for hours and hours listening to him talk and coach about football and his favorite team The Chargers(; Sometimes I wonder, what would my dad of done had they not gave birth to BJ? haha. BJ is my dads partner in crime when it comes to the subject of football OR golf. Which also brings me to my dads 3rd addiction, golf. Every weekend you can find him swinging the golf club at some expensive golf course. haha. My mom always tells my dad "Golf is a rich mans sport, we definitely are not rich!" lol. But no one ever really gives my dad a hard time about it, why? Because my dad deserves to enjoy his hard earned money. Despite the played out jokes, random lectures, and constant talk of sports....he is the most hard working, selfless, caring, giving man I've ever known. When I was a child, my dad was not a member of the church. Halfway through my teenage years he converted to the church became a priesthood holder, and since then there has been a HUGE difference in our household. A different spirit. You can see the difference in his actions, hes a happier and more joyful man. Im so very grateful for his example. I have never told my dad this, but his example changed alot in my life. I think back about it often. Im so very proud of him and his accomplishments throughout his life. Everyday, I watch my dad wake up early and head to his first job, come home, change and get ready and onto the second job all to support his family. What a huge blessing he has been in my life. My dad is my hero and protector and I love him with ALL of my heart. I hope to find an eternal companion that treats his children and wife the way my dad does(: I LOVE YOU POPZ!
Mother Dearest. Janella Filigataula Pulu, its hard to know where to start with this lady. lol. My mom is probably the weirdest lady you will ever meet. She is constantly blurting out random weird things? Then giggles to herself. haha. But thats exactly why we love her! She is a die hard San Francisco lover! Anything that has to do with San Francisco, trust me, she has it! We have plenty of 49er and Giants things lying around the house. Seriously, who buys a 49ers pinata just to hang in the house as decoration? lol. She even brought sand and seashells from the beach in california to use as decoration around the house as well. Cant get any weirder than that right? haha! She always talks about how things are so much better in California, but we've all pretty much tattooed Utah on our hearts. lol. My mom LOVES to talk and give lectures. haha. Sometimes it seems like she takes every chance she gets to give a lecture. lol. But I know my mom means well, she just likes to share her experiences and knowledge so we dont make the same mistakes. My mom probably doesnt joke around as much as my dad. My mom is ALL work now, play later. But the rest of us are play now, work later! lol. She is all about organization, cleanliness and safety. I sometimes like to think of my mom as a worry wart. She seems to overly stress and worry about things. But then again, what mom doesnt?! She is a very smart and intelligent woman. Honestly, she has the answer to EVERYTHING! Sometimes I hate to say it, but she is always right! Times where I dont listen to what she says, I definitely always regret it. But how can I learn if I dont learn on my own? lol. My mom has the hugest heart! Her heart is bigger then life itself. My mom never thinks of her and her own needs. Her thoughts are filled with others and their needs. For a long period of my life, I never stopped to think of how much she gives and sacrifices for me. As I grew and became more mature, I realized how grateful I am for sucha a blessed Mother. My mom deserves the world, I dont feel worthy being her daughter because how disobedient I can be. Im so very grateful for her patience, love and guidance(: I LOVE YOU MOM!
Mom and Dad, I love you guys to the moon and back!(: And I hope to honor your name with the many accomplishments I have yet to complete. Thank you so very much for EVERYTHING and I mean everything you have ever done for me! I know I dont say it much, but I am very very grateful for you both! A portion of heavenly fathers love for me shines through you both in the way you've sacrificed for your family, and raised me to be the woman I am today. I love you so much!
Prepping for my mission makes me think alot about alot of different things, my siblings have been on my mind alot lately. So I thought, lets put these thoughts to use and BLOG(: Ya know, never in my life, have I ever been so annoyed of a group of people, but yet would lay my life on the line for them no questions asked. (not that that would ever come up, but you get my point) When you feel like this, I guess thats when you KNOW their your siblings. lol.
First and foremost, we shall begin with the one that was actually the oldest of everyone growin up, until we went to visit my pulu side. lol.
**Jarae Fa'ataualofa Pulu**
She is definately not a person of many words, shes more about the facials. lol. I can definately always count on her for anything I need! Usually when you have an older sibling their constantly bullying you around, making you do favors for them 24/7, getting you into trouble etc. Rae totally does not fit anywhere into that stereotype. haha. Shes very quiet until she warms up to you then maybe you'll be able to sneak a couple sentences out of her every so often. Shes totally in her own world all the time, so if you see her gazing around at something..........its normal! lol. My mom always says Rae was always such a little mom. Rae was always helping my mom with chores around the house when she was little, always helping my mom with the rest of us when we were babies. And til this day NOTHING has changed. If you visit her apartment, you will always find someone elses kid there. haha. Shes the best babysitter ever. Once I have children of my own, I will definately never have to worry about needing someone to watch my kids when I want to go out. lol. Rae always seems like shes in a bad mood by the facial expressions she has on her face. But once you get to know her personality you will realize she has the biggest heart, she is the most giving and most caring person I have ever known. Shes very akward infront of big crowds of people, its only because she wasn't a very social person. She is also very protective of me and my younger siblings, actually of our entire family. Shes quite slow at times, but thats exactly why we love her! Super grateful for my big sis Jarae-rae!
Next up we have,
the bi-polar ***Jayme Malaea Pulu*** Wow, where do I start with this girl? I probably have the most to say about her because me and Jayme are 1 year apart and were the closest. At times it was the most annoying part of our relationship, but I've come to accept it. lol. Jayme definately is my partner in crime for EVERYTHING. Anytime you see me, Jayme will be a couple steps behind. Its funny, people almost always address me OR her as Janessa&Jayme, its never just Janessa or just Jayme. They always seem to couple us together, and for this reason exactly were always together! lol. If anyone knows me better then myself it would be Jayme and visa-versa. I remember when we were young my mom would dress me and Jayme up as twins. lol. We definately are not twins! lol. We both have such different interests but yet were still very close. Jayme is very bi-polar, one minute she could be laughing her head off about something weird, next minute shes giving you attitude with her face scrunched up. As a little girl Jayme was the sweetest little baby ever........now? not so much. If you know her now you probably would of NEVER guessed. Alot of our childhood Jayme was teased by everyone, now shes making a cumback! lol. I wouldnt say her jokes are professional, but their pretty dang funny! Shes probably the strongest girl in our family. She lifts more then my brother. hahaha. jk. One funny thing about Jayme is she is very blunt and says whatever is on her mind without thinking of others feelings, sometimes its quite entertaining unless its you shes talking about. lol. I can always count on her to wear my clothes without asking, ruin my shoes, and use up all my make-up, what are little sisters for? I will forever and always love this slow girl. I cant wait until she has children because Im sure they'll all be just like her(: Love ya Maymer!
Last, but definately NOT least. the biggest headache of my life ***Peleti Butch Jr III aka BJ*** Oh my, this child is the biggest "I want to go out and party hardy all night long even tho im only 12yrs old" boy ever! I admit, I am very over-protective with him, but its only cause hes my lil baby brother that I always use to hold and play patty cake with when we were little. haha. Everytime I think or hear about him dating girls, going out late with friends and moving out to college, I always picture the little baby boy with a mullet hugging his barney doll(: I can honestly say BJ is the most humble person I have ever known in my whole life. Sometimes when Im in a bad mood and yelling at him, he just does what I ask with no attitude or talking back, and it always seems to suprise me. Hes the youngest, but he is the one always setting the example. I love football season!!! My favorite thing to do on the weekends is cheer for him(: Im his biggest fan! You'll almost always hear me in the stands cheering for him. Everyone always makes fun of him and calls him "the golden child" lol. Because hes always getting special treatment from the parents, its only because BJ strives to do his best in everything he does, and the sweet spirit he carries. He makes being perfect look so easy! Im so very proud of him and all of his accomplishments, he has always been a hero to me. I love you beejer(:
This past week I rode the biggest emotional roller-coaster ever! I had to bid my earthly farewells to one of my very close relatives, Janelle Lula Davidson Tongaonevai. Never had I lost a closed loved one before, I didn't know how to control my thoughts and feelings. Lets start from the beginning. Janelle is my 1st cousin, but we were raised as sisters. My childhood is filled with so many great memories of being with my cousins, whether they were of us swimming in our backyard or going to our 1st fiji concert, they're my best memories. Throughout that whole period of my life, I dont think Janelle, Jarae, Jenise and I ever were separate. We were forever laughing together and having sleepovers over one anothers house. Our strong bond remained as we grew older. Whenever we needed to vent we always had each other to turn to, but I always would turn to Nelle. Not saying anything against Rae or Nise. lol. But I just always knew I could call Nelle up or text her when I needed some advice on something, she always knew exactly what to say to help me feel better about whatever situation I was in. She was so intelligent, when it came to Nelle things were always so organized and proper ESPECIALLY if it was her stuff. lol. I never dared touching her things without asking, that was the quickest way to make her mad. Me and Nelle had our own little special bond. When it came to hair, makeup and the girly things our family was always calling up me and Nelle. Every high school dance of hers she had me do her hair, which is why when they needed her hair done for the funeral I was the first they called. I could just hear her telling me exactly the way she wanted it. lol. She had the sweetest spirit! Nelle definitely did joke around alot and found laughter in other peoples embarrassment. lol. But she still somehow was very sweet and polite. Everyone that knew her, loved her. Her personality was magnetic, she was a born leader. Its weird having family functions without her, she always organized the cousin get togethers every weekend, you can feel her absence.
I still remember the day she passed to the other side of the veil so very clearly. It was Thursday September 1st 2011. I remember everyone at work talking about the Utes first football game starts tonight, first thought to my mind was "Oh I better text Nelle and tell her to wish Ron good-luck for me!" like I always did every game of Rons. The last thing we said to each other was "I love you! Cant wait to see you! Have a safe weekend!" Never did I think that those would be my last words to her. Jordan, Marv, Jayme and I went to volleyball together and decided on our way home we'd grab a bite to eat. We got kicked out of the Mcdonalds because they were closing so we decided we'd just have to eat our food on the drive home. Pulling out of Mcdonalds and pulling up to the first traffic light, Jordan gets a call from Ron. Once Jordan answered the phone I could tell something was wrong, especially from Jordans tone of voice. Jordan hung up the phone and began to cry, for those of you that know Jordan you know that he definitely does not cry easily, so I knew right away it was something tragic. So many thoughts were running through my mind, but I would of never have guessed what he was about to tell me..."Nelle passed away and Wazz is in the hospital, they got in a bad car accident." I remember sitting in shock, not being able to believe it. I kept thinking but I was just texting her earlier today?! I was just talking to her and everything was ok?! Ron and them are probably playing around. As these thoughts running through my mind we turn the corner to the crash site, and my heart drops. I remember seeing cop and ambulance cars everywhere. Jordan throws the car in park and we jump out of the car and run, we didnt even turn the car off or close our doors we just ran. We get up to the yellow tape and the police are telling us to get back, I look around and see 3 cars smashed to pieces and flipped over. The police are talking to us but I cant even hear what their saying, were too busy searching for Wazz and Nelle. Ron walks up slowly with two policemen, I look at Ron and his face told it all. We all begin to breakdown, screaming and crying. Slowly more of our family begin to show up at the accident, I remember looking around and seeing all of my family mourn and cry, I've never seen such a depressing site in my whole life. I've never seen such pain and sorrow in my family. The police walk up to us and break the news about Janelles passing, they also tell us to go and stay with Jazmyn because shes barely hanging on. We quickly get in our cars and make our way to the hospital. As we get to the hospital we see more family, and more tears are shed. We sat in the waiting room together trying to absorb everything thats happening. The doctors come out and tell us that Jazmyn will be ok and were able to go in and see her. Our whole family is there, so the doctors ask that we go in 2 by 2. I wait for my turn to go in and visit Jazmyn, as I walk up to my aunt before I walk in, she asks "Please dont tell Jazmyn about Nelle yet, we need to make sure she will be ok before we tell her." I remember my heart sinking in even more. I walk in the room and see Jazmyn hooked up to so many different things, and I begin to cry even more. I remember walking up to her side and holding her hand asking her if shes going to be ok, I could see all the worry and shock in Jazmyns eyes but yet she still managed to say, "Ness I'll be ok, You dont worry about me, I will be fine." I cried and hugged her and walked out. Our whole family sat in the waiting room in shock and disbelief. So many emotions were running through me I was speechless. Our family decides to travel back to Pioneer Valley Hospital where they had Janelles body, to bid our farewells to her as a family. The ride back to west valley, I was so nervous but my tears had stopped. I kept thinking I cant do this, I cant go in and see her. We pull up to the hospital and walk into the room where Janelles body is lying and Ron right next to her side holding her hand. I stared at her thinking she was just sleeping, I couldnt accept the fact she was gone. As we walk up one by one to kiss and say goodbye to her, tears pour out. I watch my whole family cry hysterically. I walk up to Janelle and stand over her, I so badly wanted to just nudge her a little and tell her to wake up. I was so speechless and didnt know what to say, then I blurt out "Nelle?!" I kept calling her thinking she would wake up and it would all be a joke. But no response. My eyes closed, and the tears once again kept pouring out. I told Janelle I loved her, kissed her forehead and stood back and watched my family bid their farewells to her. I couldnt believe she was gone, her life went so quickly. She was only 25yrs old, she just got married last year. Then a comforting thought came to my mind, she was married and sealed in the temple. She lived her life worthily to enter the house of the lord and be sealed to her eternal companion. Throughout the whole week I witnessed so many spiritual experiences, I could feel Nelles spirit with our family every step of the way. Alot of the times all of us cousins would be sitting around reminiscing about all the good times with Nelle. We kept saying it doesnt feel like shes left. It definitely comforts me to know that shes in a better place, shes with our father in heaven and loved ones that have passed on before. In the past 2 years before she passed I felt I became much closer to her, I believe it was because both of us strived to strengthen our testimonies. She was prepping to marry in the temple and I was prepping to serve a full-time mission. I can still hear her saying "Ness please tell me when you go in the temple! Me and Ron would love to be there." Im excited to enter the house of the lord because I know thats where I'll be closest to her. Instead of focusing on how she left, I'll celebrate and cherish all the great memories I have with her. The examples she left behind are ones that I hope to follow and pass on to those behind me. Never has anything strengthened my testimony so much, I believe she is up there waiting for all of us to reunite once again. Heavenly father needed her up there to continue his work by his side, she fulfilled her earthly duties. The plan of salvation is true, and I know only through this gospel can we be with our families for eternity. I cant imagine heaven without my family, it wouldnt be heaven to me. The plans and teachings of this gospel have never been more clearer to me. Nelle, I love you and I miss you so much! I know ur probably lookin down on me like "geez ness is sucha big crybaby." lol. I will keep the family strong, and assure them that you are ok. I definitely will strive to live my life worthily to return home with you. Love and miss you sis. Rest in Love Nelle(:
Love always and Forever,
Nessa.
Its definitely reassuring to know...."Families are Forever"
Whenever I am asked "Who is your hero?" I never hesitate to answer with a quick reply "My grandmother".As a young girl, my grandmother had many siblings, she would tell me stories of her childhood and how they didn't have much. She was the 2nd oldest of 18, I dont know about you but that alone would fill my plate. She would tell me stories of her stepmother and the way her stepmother would favor her own children, how her stepmother would starve her and treat poorly, as my grandma would carry on with her stories her eyes would begin to water, I couldn't help but get teary eyed myself seeing and hearing the hurt in her voice. Later down the line in her life she married my grandfather James Davidson and had 5 children. Til this day I still do not know the exact story of my grandfathers death, the only knowledge I have of his death is he passed at an early age. My mother was the 2nd oldest and she was only 16yrs old at the time of his passing. I cant imagine the sorrow and hurt my grandma was going thru a single mother with 5 children. My mom told me stories of my grandma working 3 fulltime jobs, I have tried working 1 fulltime job and 1 part time job I could never find any time for sleep which is why that idea only lasted 1 month for me, and I am single and living with my parents. So this makes me wonder, how could my grandmother work 3 fulltime jobs, catching the bus to each job, only one dress to re-wash every night to wear again for the next day, with 5 children to support with also the loss of her husband? I was at a loss for words. Never had I been so humbled in my life hearing these stories both from my grandma and my mother. My appreciation for the strong women in my life grew enormously. Since I was a child, I can always remember my grandmother constantly pushing inactive members in our family to become active, priesthood holders to remember their values, married couples not married in the temple to go and seal them and their families to them in the house of the lord. But one thing I WILL always AND forever remember her for is her testimony. I can boldly and honestly say, never have I met a woman with such strong faith. As my grandmother sits and tells me stories of her torn childhood, and trials that followed after, I sit and wonder, How is it you still stand here today with such a solid testimony? How can you have so much faith despite the many trials that have been sent your way? My grandmother never fails to mention in her testimonies "I know this is the true church, without a shout of a doubt". Because of the faith my grandmother kept she has been showered with blessings. Thru her example I know thru the trials and transgressions we can be perfected in him. Every year on my grandmas birthday I will ask her "Grams what do you want for your birthday?" I can almost guarantee everytime her reply will be "For all of my grandchildren to go and serve a fulltime mission". Just when I thought she was all out of suprises, she continues to shock me with her strong faith. My grandmother is an amazing and selfless woman, she continues to share her testimony til this day with whomever wherever, I admire her strength and her faith, but most of all I admire her testimony. I hope to carry on the same attributes as my grandma and hope to become as strong a women as she is. She is my hero(:
Just recently my little brother moved out and onto college, may sound kinda lame but it was pretty depressing. haha. Im not the type of person that adapts to change very well. I actually dont remember a time where I ever accepted change with open arms? lol. It never came to my attention until my little brother moved out. Life seems to be going by faster and faster every year, as corny as it may sound, it really feels like it was just yesterday I was running round the park behind my house with all my cousins. lol. All these thoughts helped me realize that although change may not always be something Im looking forward to, I should always remember that everything happens for a reason and Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways and requires me to go thru certain paths to only prep me for the beautiful blessings, with that faith I have become grateful for the different opportunities that appear in my life, whether they are good or bad. I wouldnt be standing where I am today if it werent for the changes that suprised me along my path of life.
